New Moon in Cancer Total Solar Eclipse: The Heretic's Dilemma
We can't ignore that voice anymore. The one that has been nagging at us for quite some time. That voice never made sense. It was always unreasonable. We follow rules. We do what we're supposed to do. Why won't it shut up?
We've done everything to make it go away. Ignore it like it's nothing. Pretend it's not there. Pretend it's not bothering us. When that didn't work, we doubled down on everything we believed. We became the model of femininity (whatever that model might be). We became a fanatical believer in American exceptionalism or some other dogmatic political belief. We became the most pious whatever we are, spouting whatever scripture we believe in as the unquestioned answer to everything. We wore our religious emblems like armor. And woe to anyone who did not believe as we did. They were scorched with the hottest fire.
But now that ain't working no more either. It only made the voice start screaming. "THIS. SHIT. DOES. NOT. FUCKING. WORK!!!!"
Now we have to face our unhappiness, our discontent, our inability to fit in. Because it's obvious we're the only one who has a problem. Everyone else is happy. The rules work for them. Hell, the rules are working for us. Our lives aren't bad. Then why aren't we happy? Why are we having these heretical thoughts?
At this eclipse, we are ready to surrender to inevitable. The voice makes sense. We're only going along to get along. This, whatever this is, is not the truth of who we are. We made concessions because we felt so alone and wanted unconditional love and security and safety. At the time, it might have been what we needed but it's simply not anymore.
Anyone who has turned apostate has had to reach the point where they break out. They really have no idea what they're doing or where they're going. They see themselves reacting but some higher force simply takes over. From a calm centered place, they destroy everything they once held dear and believed in with all their might.
We're making that turn right now. As we turn, we face the heretic's dilemma. Once we leave home, we have no place to go. Once we break the rules, we have no models or guides to follow. There is no map for the journey we need to take. Once we cross that threshold, there's no turning back. And then what do we do?
However, we are compelled to cross that threshold. We know something wondrous is waiting for us on the other side.
We've done everything to make it go away. Ignore it like it's nothing. Pretend it's not there. Pretend it's not bothering us. When that didn't work, we doubled down on everything we believed. We became the model of femininity (whatever that model might be). We became a fanatical believer in American exceptionalism or some other dogmatic political belief. We became the most pious whatever we are, spouting whatever scripture we believe in as the unquestioned answer to everything. We wore our religious emblems like armor. And woe to anyone who did not believe as we did. They were scorched with the hottest fire.
But now that ain't working no more either. It only made the voice start screaming. "THIS. SHIT. DOES. NOT. FUCKING. WORK!!!!"
Now we have to face our unhappiness, our discontent, our inability to fit in. Because it's obvious we're the only one who has a problem. Everyone else is happy. The rules work for them. Hell, the rules are working for us. Our lives aren't bad. Then why aren't we happy? Why are we having these heretical thoughts?
At this eclipse, we are ready to surrender to inevitable. The voice makes sense. We're only going along to get along. This, whatever this is, is not the truth of who we are. We made concessions because we felt so alone and wanted unconditional love and security and safety. At the time, it might have been what we needed but it's simply not anymore.
Anyone who has turned apostate has had to reach the point where they break out. They really have no idea what they're doing or where they're going. They see themselves reacting but some higher force simply takes over. From a calm centered place, they destroy everything they once held dear and believed in with all their might.
We're making that turn right now. As we turn, we face the heretic's dilemma. Once we leave home, we have no place to go. Once we break the rules, we have no models or guides to follow. There is no map for the journey we need to take. Once we cross that threshold, there's no turning back. And then what do we do?
However, we are compelled to cross that threshold. We know something wondrous is waiting for us on the other side.
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